Thursday, May 14, 2009

Dreams and Memories

Anniversaries, like children, are different in dreams than what I actually encounter in my daily life. This ninth anniversary for Chris and I was envisioned as a surprise night away with time away from the Brown. Babysitters aka grandparents, were lined up, reservations made, plans for meals done. The picture in my mind was of us leaving Brown at my parents with him playing in the yard laughing as we rode away for an evening of romance. Reality revealed to me this: irritable tired Brown, snotty, coughing to the point of pain so that he cries after coughs, sleeping on my chest in a chair downstairs while my wife (remember the anniversary?) was getting some badly needed sleep upstairs since she had been the one staying awake with him for days. How did we get here?

Well, it starts last weekend. We were out for a benefit, came home and went to bed without incident. 3:30 AM however jarred us quickly awake as we found Brown moaning, burning hot (104), and mostly unresponsive and tremoring. We quickly made our way through some red lights on the way to Children’s where we were able to get his fever down which allowed him to be more responsive. After some reassuring blood work, we drove home in the early morning light to get some sleep. Happy Mother’s day Chris. This week has been tough on Chris and Brown though we are thankful that our son is on the mend and generally in better spirits. That brings us to last night. The boys in the den trying to sleep. Brown evidently finding his dad bony enough that he needs to shift around fairly often. His tired dad trying to sleep, though in the back of his mind realizing that the times of your son sleeping with his head on your chest are numbered so you better appreciate this. As much as you want to go to sleep and get comfortable, take this moment and appreciate it for what it is. Anniversaries, kids and “having” to sleep with your son on your chest are sometimes different in memories than in real life.